Ruminations on the death of Pat Robertson

Originally posted by Rachel Tompkins. Reposted by permission. by Elizabeth Dilley This poem was written by my dear friend K on the occasion of Pat Robertson’s death. It’s as profoundly theological as anything my clergy colleagues have shared, and certainly more theologically robust than anything I could say about it. I’m posting because I’m going …

Devote Your Entire Life to Penis Worship

Every Morning  as I Wake: 1.   As I come out of sleep I touch, stroke, and fondle my Penis to bring Him fully awake. 2.   I wake and kneel in prayer to Penis for about five minutes. 3.   I celebrate a brief Masturbation ceremony (depending on my time no shorter than 15 minutes.) 4.   After I Cum (or decide NOT to Cum) I …

Declaration to Cock My God

Cock, my God, when suddenly you appear My soul’s purpose on this Earth is clear. You bring peace, and joy and lust To you my soul I deliver and entrust. I envision thick, fat, rigid shafts Which drip upon my tongue Your sweetest saps. Pissholes leaking, spitting, drooling, wet I think of these and feel …

We Are Sons of Priapus

We know that Penis is a manifestation of God. We worship Penis. We follow our ancestral father, who, we are told, had an enormous perpetually erect cock that he was unable to contain and so went about masturbating continually, spreading his seed everywhere. And wherever his seed fell, malekind — animals and humans — sprung …

Masturbation Prayer

“Lord Phallus I pray that you to guide this ardent worshipper of Cock into an ever deeper and more binding union with Cock the Creator.” “Great God Phallus, my life is yours.” “God Phallus, my body is yours.” “Phallus, my mind belongs to you.” “Great God Phallus, my heart is yours.” “God Phallus, my soul …